Take That joke voted funniest cracker joke of 2014, see the other contenders here

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Best Christmas cracker jokes 2014

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a dad joke or two, and Christmas crackers provide most of the material for the dads in our lives.

However, it seems that the great British public are tired of hearing the same old gags over and over again, and so they've come up with their own definitive list of the 10 funniest Christmas cracker jokes of 2014.

With not a knock-knock in sight, this list is made up of jokes centred around the big events of the year, and they're sure to get you chuckling. Keep them to yourself and amaze family and friends on Christmas day with your quick wit and current affair knowledge – we won’t tell if you don’t!

Around 2000 Britons voted for their favourite joke from a shortlist complied by the TV channel Gold. Here are the top 10 jokes they came up with…


1. What will be missing from Take That’s Christmas stocking this year?

Answer: An Orange.


2. How does Luis Suarez like his Christmas dinner?

Answer: Bite-sized.


3. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs?

Answer: Game Of Thrones.


4. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?

Answer: 'Get out of my face.'


5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron?

Answer: He’s got two parties to organise.


6. What’s the difference between Bono and Santa?

Answer: Santa gives you things you want.


7. Why won’t Santa visit Nigel Farage?

Answer: Because he only comes if you sleep, not if UKIP.


8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket?

Answer: They’re always bowling snow-balls.


9. I got a UKIP advent calendar this year…

Answer: It’s rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut.


10. Why is The Great British Bake-Off like the nativity?

Answer: Because the star is in the yeast.


Continued below...

Which is your favourite joke? Let us know in the comments box below, on our Facebook page, or on our Twitter! Got one of your own that you think should be added? Let us know and we might just do that!

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