Do you struggle to say no? Find out how to say no without feeling guilty
Want to find out how to say ‘no’ and really mean it without upsetting people?
many times has someone asked you to do something that you know doesn’t
feel right for you, but instead of saying ‘no’ (and standing your
ground), you say ‘yes’? Or, worse still, let them talk you in to saying
‘yes’ by nervously making all sorts of excuses?
If you struggle to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty or uncomfortable then you’re not alone.
able to say ‘no’ is so important, but lots of people, women especially,
feel like they’re letting someone down when they say ‘no’ so they end
up going along with things to keep others happy. It has the opposite
effect on their own lives though, making them feel miserable, put-upon
and like they don’t have any time for themselves. But that doesn’t have
to be the norm.
Once you know how to say ‘no’ and really mean it,
you’ll feel much more in control of your own life, time and feelings.
Plus, it will make saying ‘yes’ to the right things a breeze!
So, we asked Life, Health and Wellbeing Coach, Clara Gibson (www.makethatdifference.org) how to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty. Click through her top tips and start saying ‘no’ (without worrying) now…
‘If you are someone who normally responds with a ‘yes’ very quickly, choose to take more time before you give your response – tell the person that you will get back to them at the end of the day, for example.’
‘Before you give your response, write out the pros and cons – this can help make saying “no” easy.’
‘Know what your own priorities are. What are your goals? Knowing what you are needing to do, and what’s important to you, will help you to decide what’s worth saying “yes” to.’
‘Like most things, just getting to be familiar with saying “no” makes it easier. So, think about the times that you have wanted to say “no” but ended up saying the opposite. Now think of saying ‘no’ comfortably and pleasantly when they happen again. Practice.’
‘When you say ‘no’, keep it simple. Don’t apologise or give lengthy explanations. This just makes you seem less certain about your ‘no’ and lets the person think they can persuade you to change your mind.’
‘Saying ‘no’ doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a ‘no’ forever. Maybe it doesn’t just fit what’s right for you at the moment or you simply don’t have time. You can always say that.’
‘If you know someone who might be able to help with the request, speak to them first to check it’s OK and then put them forward. That way you’ll be looked upon as someone with boundaries who is helpful.’
‘If you want to be a more assertive person, writing down your goals can really help your brain get organised. It’s a fact that you’re much more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down, so make a note of where you want greater control and the ways you plan to do it. Then record your progress every day.’