‘It isn’t an image that only hurts women’ Blogger defends being bigger than her boyfriend in uplifting post

A body positive blogger has slammed stereotypes which say women should always be smaller than their boyfriends.

Essex-based Megan Jayne Crabbe, who writes under the name bodiposipanda, has made a name for herself on social media for her honest and relatable posts about recovering from an eating disorder and learning to love her body.

In a recent snap she posted of herself and her boyfriend on holiday, Megan proudly poses in a bikini alongside a frank caption that fights back against those who believe women should always weigh less than their partners.

"If you weigh more than your boyfriend, you're too fat". That's something I learned while we were still on the playground, back before any of us had even been near a boy. I don't know where it came from, TV, magazines, overheard conversations – but it was fact. Beautiful women were always light and graceful, the men strong and solid. So that the boyfriends could lift you up and swing you round, you his feather light princess. As I got older that image became one more reason I was convinced that my body made me unlovable. And it isn't an image that only hurts women, it hurts men who can't reach the strong, solid expectation, it hurts people who don't fit the gender binary, people who don't slot in the limited boxes our culture puts gender into. It hurts queer people who are only given heteronormative images to aspire to. It hurts us all, the idea that only certain bodies are deserving of love. But the truth? The truth is that every single one of us are worthy of love, whether our bodies are light, strong, soft, bigger or smaller than our partners. Whether we believe that we're worthy or not. We already are. That means you too. 💜💙💚🌈🌞 #bodypositivepower

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‘”If you weigh more than your boyfriend, you’re too fat”,’ she writes. ‘That’s something I learned while we were still on the playground, back before any of us had even been near a boy. I don’t know where it came from, TV, magazines, overheard conversations – but it was fact.’

‘Beautiful women were always light and graceful, the men strong and solid. So that the boyfriends could lift you up and swing you round, you his feather light princess.’

But Megan admits that she’s exhausted by these pressures, going on to expose the reality that so many women have to face when they’re bigger than their other half.

‘As I got older that image became one more reason I was convinced that my body made me unlovable,’ she continues. ‘And it isn’t an image that only hurts women, it hurts men who can’t reach the strong, solid expectation, it hurts people who don’t fit the gender binary, people who don’t slot in the limited boxes our culture puts gender into.’

‘The truth is that every single one of us are worthy of love, whether our bodies are light, strong, soft, bigger or smaller than our partners. Whether we believe that we’re worthy or not. We already are. That means you too,’ she concludes.

"Wait so you just decided to RUIN your body?" Nah, I just stopped torturing myself every day for not fitting an image I was never supposed to be. · "But you look so much healthier to me before." That's funny, you looked so much more intelligent to me before you equated health with weight and forgot that mental health is health too. · "You could have stayed the same and loved your body, you didn't need to get fat." I could have stayed the same and spiralled back into the eating disorder that almost killed me when I was 15. I could have kept starving myself and obsessively working out for hours everyday but it never would have lead me to self love. No matter how much weight I lost there was always still something to hate. And sure, people don't NEED to gain weight to find their self love, this is just what my body needed to do to match up to my mental freedom. THIS IS MY HAPPY BODY. · "But surely you can't be happy looking like that now, I could never be happy in that body." I didn't think I could either, but as it turns out, happiness isn't a size. And I wasted far too many years believing that it was. Now I'm not going to stop letting people know that they deserve happiness exactly as they are. They deserve to live now, not 10 pounds from now. They deserve that mental freedom. So to every person reading this: I hope you get your freedom too, however it might look. I'll be cheering you on every step of the way. 💜💙💚🌈🌞 P.s. these are all comments I received on my last before/after picture, luckily for me, they just make me want to keep going even more 👊

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Her loyal followers (nearly 800,000, to be precise) couldn’t have been more proud of her for the candid message, with the post receiving over 1,500 comments so far.

‘Thank you for this post and these thoughts. More people need to hear them and how these heteronormative perspectives negatively affect us all,’ wrote one grateful commenter.

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‘Even at my smallest I have always been a heavy girl and heavier than my partners and it’s always bothered me – made me feel less feminine or less beautiful- thank you for this post!!! You’re totally right it’s a stereotype that’s unrealistic. You made my day today!’ another agreed.

Have you ever felt self-conscious about being bigger than your other half? Let us know your thoughts on Megan’s post in the comment box below!