1. You don’t feel close anymore
Most relationships go through a honeymoon phase. ‘Research tells us that a lot of this is Mother Nature’s way of making sure we mate and bond with our partner,’ says relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall. ‘Inevitably these fuzzy feelings wear off – usually after about 2 years. The important thing is to accept this as a natural change and find new ways to feel close. There are things you can do to feel close again. Get it out in the open and talk about how you feel. Make some time to do things together, even if it’s just a walk in the park.’
Is it over?
No, all relationships need work and if you can start talking then you’ve got a good chance of survival.
2. You haven’t had sex for a very long time
‘If you’re not having sex then you need to work out why. If it’s because of problems in the relationship then you’ll need to sort those out first. If it’s deeper than that then it may be that psychosexual counselling can help. But if you don’t want sex, and you don’t even want to want sex, then this is not a good sign,’ says Paula.
Stress, tiredness and kids can all put your sex life on hold, this is normal. But if you’re both making excuses to not sleep with each other or you don’t fancy your partner anymore then it could be a sign that it’s time to move on.
Before you decide it’s over talk to your partner to see if there’s a problem. Try to re-ignite the passion you once had with new sex positions or if that feels like too much then start slowly with just a bit of foreplay.
Is it over?
It depends. If you’ve explored all the reasons why you don’t fancy him/each other anymore then it might be time to move on or even just try a break.
3. You can’t remember the last time you were affectionate with each other
‘When we touch we release a chemical which makes us feel bonded to our partner, so touch is essential,’ says Paula. ‘If you really can’t bring yourself to be affectionate with each other then you need to deal with the underlying causes. Sometimes so much distance builds between you that touching feels false. You need to get close through communication then hopefully touch will follow naturally,’ says Paula.
Is it over?
No, if you take things slowly you could rekindle your romance