Mend a broken relationship: Miscarriage

What happened?

You have two wonderful children but suffered a miscarriage two months ago. You’d always agreed to have three children and now you’re longing to try again. But your partner flatly refuses. He says you have two healthy children, why can’t you be happy with that?

How you’re feeling

Furious, hurt and bewildered. How dare he change his mind! You’re the one who suffered the trauma of a miscarriage – not him. How can he deny you another chance?

How he’s feeling

Frightened and confused. Your miscarriage was a horrible experience and he never wants to see you suffer like that again. Why can’t you understand?

How to solve it

Stop trying to make a decision, it’s far too early. ‘Instead, share your fears and accept that you’re both still grieving,’ says Paula Hall. ‘Think carefully. Could you be trying to replace the lost baby by quickly getting pregnant again?’

Next, talk about why you both agreed to have three children. Was it a decision made a long time ago? Had you discussed it recently? Was it really still a viable option? ‘You can’t force a child onto a reluctant partner so the person who refuses usually gets his way,’ adds Paula Hall. ‘But don’t rush yourselves. Agree to give it another six months, then review how you both feel again.’

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