Wedding season is upon us, which means out come the speeches and the toasts.
But what is a lovely tradition can often go very, VERY wrong. Enter these Reddit users, who’ve opened up about the some of the worst, most cringe-worthy and downright horrendous wedding speeches they’ve ever witnessed.
The thread has over 2,200 comments, full of painfully embarrassing speeches made on someone’s special day. While some are simply hilarious, others will make you cringe so much you’ll want to hide under a rock forever.
Here are some of the most awkward stories out there…
‘My wife’s aunt was wasted at my sister in law’s wedding and began a toast talking about the bride and her husband. After about 20 seconds she started talking about her dead parents and her failed relationships. She later tried (awkwardly) to have a friend of the groom dance and dip her which resulted in him dropping her on the floor and walking away while she rolled on the floor showing her sequin underwear.’
‘At my parent’s wedding the priest started with “We are gathered at this funeral today…” The worst part is he started going on with the typical funeral speech until he was stopped. To be fair he was well past retirement age.’
‘The matron of honor and best man were married, so they gave their speeches together and talked the whole time about their wedding/marriage.’
‘At my cousin’s wedding, the priest made a long speech going on and on about how wonderful and responsible it was of the couple to get married once they got pregnant out of wedlock. Most of the bride’s family did not yet know she was pregnant.’
‘One wedding I went to, the pastor started giving the typical “marriage is hard work” speech. He talks about how many marriages fail, and all the people he’s counseled through divorce. He goes on about how that on their wedding day, they’re just like this couple and who think they’re going to make it but 6 months later they’re getting a divorce. I’m trying hard to keep a straight face, the groom is starting to look like he wants to punch the guy, and I can hear people behind me disguising laughing as coughing. I keep expecting him to bring it around to something positive, but he doesn’t. 15 minutes of, “Marriage is hard and lots of them don’t work.” Find out at the reception, he was a family friend. With a lifelong unrequited crush on the bride.’
‘At my cousins wedding, her boss got wasted and told a story about her nephew watching porn in a hotel on a family trip. It came out of nowhere and everyone was sufficiently confused and uncomfortable. I was young and someone had made the mistake of serving me wine so I just laughed and laughed in the otherwise silent room. They had to turn off the mic and then just closed the speeches for the rest of the night.’
‘So I was at my brother-in-laws wedding. My wife (grooms sister) was in the wedding party so I sat with her family. Her parents get up on the stage to say their speech. Father in law steps up to the mic and says: “Thanks everyone for coming out”, and sits back down beside me. There is a horrible awkward silence in the room, everyone was expecting a long speech, and the MC had just sat down and taken a big drink. In the silence he leans over to me and says: “What? If you don’t have anything nice to say!” Apparently he doesn’t like his new daughter in law very much!’
‘A friend was getting married, and the best man decided that in his toast he would try to compliment how beautiful the bride was. He ended up saying “It took a team of bridesmaids and scientists to get her looking like that.” Nice try, really awkward.’
‘This was at my cousins wedding. My cousin and his buddy had a pact if you will, they would be each others best men. Okay all well and good, only catch is during their toast they had to MOON the RECEPTION at the end of the speach. So back to cousins wedding. He is giving his speach, yada yada known this guy forever. Then at the very end he is about to pass the mic back. “Oh wait almost forgot” sets the mic down, turns around stands on a chair and moons the wedding reception. Brides family promptly left. I think my cousin forgot all about that because he looked blindsided. Luckily my side of the family found it hilarious.’
‘At one wedding reception I attended, the bride’s teenaged sister gave the first speech. It was a twenty-minute crying jag about how mature her older sister was for “waiting until she had married the man she loved,” and how wise she was for not having sex with the first guy who crossed her path. Confessional toasts are never a good idea. Especially in front of your grandparents.’