Judi says: You enjoy sex but you don’t think about it all the time. You know it’s good for your relationship to have it regularly but you’re not that fussed about instigating it – you leave that up to him! Because of this, his sexual needs sometimes tend to override your own.
Your passive role in what should be a finely-tuned double act could be causing as much grief to your partner as it most certainly will to you.
It could be that your parents were rather old-fashioned about sex and you’ve developed the libido and sexual etiquette of a rather prim Victorian wife who lies back and thinks of England while her hubby gets his rocks off.
Except there can hardly be many rocks to get off when your partner has this type of detached response. It’s as much your job to instigate sex as it is his.
Sex isn’t a task to delegate, like taking out the wheelie bin or emptying the cat’s litter tray, it’s supposed to be democratic and you’re not pulling your weight. Try power-sharing now and again and instigating and controlling your sex sessions. They say power corrupts and it does sound as though you could do with a bit of corrupting!
Judi James is a sex, relationships and body language expert and author of The Body Language Bible, available from June.