Every week we partner up with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.
My husband’s finding his new job extremely challenging and is working 60 hours a week. I’m fed up, because we only have sex at weekends – he’s not interested during the week. Should I try to tempt him into making love? And if so, how?
This is a modern and very common problem. Increasingly nowadays, people are working crazy hours in pressurised jobs, and as a result they don’t much feel like having sex. I’m seeing this all the time in my consulting room – in fact, some of my clients have lost their libidos entirely. So actually, your bloke is doing quite well being a relatively ardent weekend lover!
You ask if you should try tempting him into making love during the week. Well, personally, I don’t think so. I fear that if you came on very strong, he might feel that you were just one more pressure in his horrendously hectic life.
Of course, you could always dress up in a French maid’s outfit, or produce a feather duster and start tickling him all over at bedtime, but frankly I think this might prove to be irritating for him, rather than driving him mad with desire.
It could lead to arguments and leave you feeling rejected and hurt, which will just add to your problems rather than solve them.
My best suggestion is that you make the most of your sexy Saturdays and Sundays and plan to have lots of loving then. But during the week, if I were you I’d welcome him home with a hug and a kiss and a hot meal, and encourage him to talk over his busy day. I think he’ll really value your kindness, and hopefully he’ll always remember how you supported him throughout this tough time.
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Meanwhile, if you’re climbing the walls with frustration during the week, I suggest you indulge in a spot of discreet solo sex – with or without a vibrator.
There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.
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