Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.
My new partner of six months is mad keen on sex! My first husband and I were virgins when we met, and sex was dull. We divorced two years ago. My new man loves giving me oral sex, but afterwards he kisses me on the lips, so I get a taste of my own private parts. I hate it. Am I weird?
Not at all! Plenty of women feel the same. It’s clear your first marriage wasn’t very sexually adventurous. Now you’re learning new tricks – many of which you clearly enjoy. But that doesn’t mean you’re obliged to like everything. Suppose your man had a passion for rice pudding. That would be fine.
But it wouldn’t be fine if he insisted you had to join him in eating rice pudding if you hated it. Well, it’s the same with sex.
It’s perfectly reasonable for a partner to say: ‘I love this kind of sexual behaviour. Will you try it?’ But it’s definitely not OK to insist you do it. Maybe your boyfriend believes his previous partners adored tasting themselves on his lips. Even if that’s true, there’s no reason why you should.
No sexual activity is universally loved, and some sexual enthusiasts tend to forget that. Lots of women like oral sex and are happy to taste their own juices. Plenty aren’t. And it isn’t just women who have their likes and dislikes. Not all men like oral sex. And I can assure you, many men don’t like their partners to give them oral sex and then kiss them because, like you, they’re squeamish about tasting their own genitals.
So don’t think you’re a freak. It’s how you feel and it’s normal. It’s important to keep an open mind, so we can learn new things that may thrill and excite us. But we shouldn’t feel bad if something isn’t our cup of tea.
Keep some wet wipes by the bed. If your partner wipes his lips after giving you oral sex and before kissing you, everything should be hunky-dory!
– There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.