Your secrets: What the experts say

You’ve been sending us your secrets and giving others some great advice on their problems. But we’ve decided it’s time to call in the experts!

Sex and relationship experts have answered 5 of your most common problems. If you think you could give better advice then add your comments below.

‘My man’s too fat for sex’

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. For the first 2-3 months, we had sex about four times a day. But in the last two months he’s gained lots of weight and he can’t seem to lose it. When I try and initiate sex he just says he’s not in the mood. What should I do?

Read the problem in full

Sex and relationship therapist Simone Bienne says:

It sounds like there could be something deeper going on here than you think.

You say that you know he’s unhappy with his size, but I wonder whether you’ve asked him what’s up?

The fact that he’s eating more, drinking more, hasn’t the energy to exercise and has lost his libido suggests that he could be depressed. Something is causing him to act this way. He’s using food to fill a void.

There isn’t anything you can do apart from give him the space to decide to come to you.

Tell him you’ve noticed a change in his behaviour and that you’re there for him when he’s ready to talk.

By showing you love him by not pressuring him to talk or have sex, my hope is that he’ll come to you when he’s ready to open up.

The hardest role as a partner in this situation is to deal with the feeling of helplessness. But I’m sure you can do it.

Visit Simone’s website:

Next: ‘I don’t who my daughter’s father is’

Where to next?

Share your secrets and problems
Read more secrets
More information on depression
How to boost your libido