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There’s not long to go before our social media feeds are full of loved up couples shoving their blissfully happy romances in our faces.
For loads of singletons, Valentine’s Day can trigger loads of negative feelings about the fact there’s no special someone on the scene.
If you or one of your closest pals falls under that bracket, let us introduce Firebox’s Pierre the Penis pillow.
This whopping, four foot long, hunk of phallic love is an ideal alternative to snuggling up to a romantic partner this February – and if he fails to match up to a cuddle partner, he’ll at least provide a few laughs.
The jumbo willy cushion is soft, huggable, available in three complexion colours and features an adorably cute smiley face, so he’s always happy to see you. Aw.
Although, beware of its potential ability to scare off future lovers.
If Pierre’s almost-human-sized height is a little too much length to handle, getting your hands on his mini sized brother is a great option.
In fact there’s a whole range of Pierre the Penis themed products on Firebox, including a pair of penis slippers.
There’s also a penis shaped hot water bottle to stay even more toasty, a teeny version of Pierre dubbed “the world’s smallest penis” and a slightly more subtle Pierre the Penis cushion. Perfect for adding the classy and subtle nod to male private parts that we all desire in our homes.
According to the novelty gift site, the naughty line is really popular with customers who were unsurprisingly drawn in by Pierre’s penis-y charm.
Firebox said, “On average, over 40 penis products were shipped from our warehouse every day throughout 2019, and this will hopefully only continue to grow.
“Unlike your current boyfriend (or whoever you choose to share a bed with) these snuggly guys actually enjoy cuddles and watching The Notebook,” they added.
“Plus whichever one you choose, Pierre won’t snore or steal the duvet from you. What a perfect companion for the most romantic day of the year.”