Anne Diamond opened up to the Loose Women panel about the four-month-old son she tragically lost back in 1991 to cot death.
The panel was discussing National Baby Loss Week, and how baby loss was discussed in parliament by MP Vicky Foxcroft, who lost her baby Veronica five days after she was born.
Anne’s voice started to crack as she spoke about her son Sebastian, who would have been 25 years old this year.
‘I remember holding Sebastian for hours,’ she said
‘He was cold – it was actually really painful to hold him as I was so cold.’
Anne said that she had to wait over the weekend until Monday for Sebastian to have a post-mortem, which made her ‘very angry’ because she ‘thought a post-mortem would be done right away’, and she ‘wanted to know what had killed him.’
‘He would be 25 this year but it never leaves you,’ she said.
‘But it’s wonderful to talk about him because it makes him real, and he is real to me.
‘Someone once said to me, “You can get over the pain of losing him but you’ll never stop loving him”, and they were right,’ she told everyone.
Nadia also spoke about her experience of having four miscarriages in between the births of her two daughters, saying how it’s important for women to share their pregnancies as soon as they learn of them, because if the baby is lost, they have nobody to share the grief with.
The panel discussed Reborn dolls, lifelike dolls of babies which are intended to replicate a baby who has passed away in order to help parents grieve.
‘I would never judge somebody’s else’s bereavement, everybody handles it in different ways,’ said Anne, saying that she would not have liked one of the dolls back in 1991.
‘When you lose a baby, your arms ache, physically ache, so it would be so lovely to cuddle something…but at what point do you put it down?’ she said about the Reborn dolls.
Anne also spoke about the things people said to her when they knew she had lost her baby.
‘People would say, ‘Isn’t it lovely your little Sebastian is looking over you on a cloud?’
‘That’s not the way I see it,’ she said. ‘It suits you but it doesn’t suit me, and we all grief in very, very different ways.’