Anna Williamson reveals that her son’s birth ‘traumatised’ her and led to postnatal depression

Presenter Anna Williamson has admitted that her horrific delivery experience stopped her from bonding with her newborn son.

The Celebs Go Dating Celebrity Dating Agent, whose son Vincenzo is now two, told Fabulous online that all her plans for a ‘serene birth’ went out of the window when she was forced to endure a 40-hour labour ending in a forceps delivery.

‘I lost two litres of blood,’ she revealed. ‘I was totally traumatised by the experience.’

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**WHAT A DIFFERENCE 2 YEARS MAKES** I have apologise in advance for lots of schmaltzy posts today, but my goodness, I’m feeling more than a little reflective. Two years ago today, in a clinical operating theatre (not quite the hippy birthing pool I’d hoped for) this picture was taken. Today is my sons 2nd birthday 🎂 Two years ago I described this as the worst ‘best’ day of my life. Worst because not least it bloody hurt, best because I birthed a terrific human being. I’m smiling but it’s masking a terrified, traumatised, overwhelmed little girl. Post natal depression is a be-atch, but you know what, as un-fun as my labour and birth experience was, flipping heck, I’d do it all over again ten times to have this little boy 😍 (and I NEVER thought I’d say that!) It definitely took a while for me to get the hang of motherhood, to feel that fabled gut wrenching love 💕, and to navigate the stormy (often crippling) waters of post natal mental health. But here we are. A family of 3…and two years in we have learnt to ride the waves of competitive tiredness, I have managed my mental health challenges well (most of the time), but most of all I’ve learnt how to love parenting. And I mean REALLY love it. We’ve found our groove. Anyone experiencing #postnataldepression #birthtrauma #ptsd #postnatalanxiety hang in there my friend….the sunny days WILL take over the dark days. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. Happy birthday my darling Vincenzo George – the clichéd comments that I didn’t believe at first really are true….you’re TOTALLY worth it…and when the love bug bites, it bites hard 💞and I thank God everyday it did. Ps nice hair @papa_dipaz 😉 love you baby – A-Team let’s go 😘 #breakingmumanddad #myboyis2 #parenting #maternalmentalhealth #pnd #anxiety #birthtrauma #lightattheendofthetunnel #love #family

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The TV star had suffered from anxiety before having Vincenzo and continued to struggle with it during her pregnancy after she was told to come off her medication.

After the birth, she sunk into severe post-natal depression.

‘I had terrible post-birth trauma and felt like the rug had been pulled out from under my feet,’ she explained.

‘All anyone was doing around me was banging on about how happy I must be. I was in shock, I was exhausted, in an awful lot of pain and I wanted everyone including the baby to b****r off and leave me alone.’

Anna admitted that she struggled to bond with her new son for the first few weeks of his life, and also found herself questioning her new identity as a mother.

‘I did not like my children’ This mum’s letter about postpartum depression is a must read

Her lowest point came when Vincenzo was around 10 days old, she said. ‘I was on my own with a baby I couldn’t settle and I remember thinking, “Oh my God, is this life now? What have I done?”

It had taken me 18 years to get where I was career-wise and I felt guilty and very de-skilled suddenly becoming a mother and knowing nothing,’ she recalled.

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The face of a harassed mother. How’s your Friday going so far? Mine….well mine started at 5.17am being summoned into ‘Lord’ Enzo’s room. Followed by the poonami of all poonami’s 💩to deal with (it went everywhere), then had to perform the ‘mothers kiss’ first aid ⛑ technique (again) after a cornflake got wedged up the nostril (cue flailing arms, hysterics and a LOT of upset…and that was just me 😉) Then the cat threw up all over my nice white John Lewis bed linen. 😼 All pre-9am. Thank goodness for dinner plans (with wine) tonight is all I can say! 🙌 Have a good one folks 😘 May the parenting force be with you 🙏 Love Anna The Child/Cat Servant x Ps and yup, in case you’re scrutinising this photo, I am indeed on the loo. OBVIOUSLY a solo trip in peace to the khazi is a thing of the whimsical past, and my lap is currently being used as a ‘micro machines bridge’ #friday #parenthood #toddler

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She admits that her relationship with her husband Alex also suffered, saying the first six weeks felt like ‘wading through treacle’.

Happily though, the couple got through it and Anna says she now feels much more confident as a mother.

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**The Working Mum** I’m extremely fortunate to thoroughly enjoy my job. I have a varied and fulfilling career. It’s something I really struggled to put on pause when I had Enzo – which both terrified and upset me. I thought I’d be one of those mums who gets lost in the ‘baby haze’ and sticks two fingers up to work. But instead I realised early on how important BOTH jobs were and are to me. I’ve worked hard for my career, it’s not always roses I can assure (not by any means!) but I also utterly adore my other job – the MOST important one – being this little chaps Mummy ☺️ It’s never easy being apart from him, he’s my absolute world and I’m fiercely proud and protective of him. And as I lay here tonight, in my bed in ‘Celebs-land’, a little photo landed in my email inbox from his nursery carer….this photo. Today he’s been making valentines biscuits and cards for ‘mummy’ 😍 – my heart has melted with complete love. To all the fellow working parents/carers out there, we do it for them huh…and you totally rock 👌 #momentofreflection #myboy #bestboyever

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Despite a difficult start, she reckons she and her partner have now come ‘pretty close’ to finding the perfect balance.

And now Anna wants to reassure other mums that feeling ‘totally crap’ is okay.

‘You are actually feeling what most of us feel and none of us admit,’ she said.