Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter shares heartbreaking tribute to stillborn baby daughter

Kirsty-Leigh Porter has posted a heartbreaking tribute to her late daughter, Penny-Leigh.

The actress recently revealed her daughter was stillborn at 29 weeks, in a post on Instagram.

While she only revealed the sad news at the end of January, the baby girl was stillborn before Christmas, on 21st December.

Now the TV star has posted a touching tribute to her baby, which she also hopes will help parents who have or are experiencing the same heartbreaking situation.

View this post on Instagram

I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is… I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back) I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone. And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh. 👼🏼 My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change. My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT #stillborn #angelbaby

A post shared by Kirsty-Leigh Porter ☮️♑️💟 (@kirststarburst) on

She wrote: ‘I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is… I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels.

‘My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud.

READ MORE: Stillbirth: What happens when your baby is stillborn

‘As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change.

The 30-year-old continued to confess that she’s also feeling guilty as she struggles with grief.

She added: ‘My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT.’

Fans of the star were quick to send their support in the comments, with one saying: ‘This breaks my heart to read. I can never imagine that kind of pain. No words can make it better, but you’re in my thoughts ❤️’.

Another wrote: ‘i’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. i’m sure that your beautiful baby girl will be watching down on you and is thanking you for being the best mummy ever. stay strong and hang on in there ❤️❤️❤️’.

Our thoughts are with Kirsty-Leigh and her partner Paul at this difficult time.

Sands (stillbirth and neonatal death charity) supports anyone affected by the death of a baby. Call their Freephone helpline on 0808 164 3332, email helpline@sands.org.uk or visit www.sands.org.uk