A mum blogger has taken to Facebook to share a heartfelt post stressing that ‘competitive parenting’ can be insensitive to those who have lost children.
Known for her no-holes-barred parenting insights on her Facebook page, dealing with everything from Leaving the Park Meltdowns to sore boobs, blogger Gylisa Jayne’s latest offering is a sombre reminder that gloating about material things doesn’t make for better parents.
‘Competitive parenting starts at birth, you must do it naturally without breaking a sweat, no pain relief, no whinging – just birth that little turd, no not THAT one – that one … and you are set for winning at parenthood…’, she begins.
‘Only, there isn’t really any winners in parenthood is there ? I mean, what do we measure it on – Happy kids ? Kids with lots of stuff? Kids that look right ? Kids that don’t misbehave ?’
In a chilling change of tone, she continues, ‘Kids that are alive…?’
‘Your kid can have all the toys. The poshest pram. The crib that sways and sprouts a tit to feed your baby who never ever cries at night ( because that’s the winner ) …. but did you stop to remember that you were already ‘winning’ before all that stuff ?
‘How obsolete does it become to gloat about your natural birth, when another parent came out with empty arms.’
Gylisa points out that parents with healthy, happy babies are the incredibly lucky ones.
She continues, ‘In the U.K., there is an average of nearly 5 infant losses, per 1000 live births. In Australia its nearly 4. In Turkey it’s a staggering 13.5. And as if people comparing their journey to yours and deciding who is ‘winning’ isn’t bad enough, any other parents loss acts as a harsh reminder for us to hug our babies while they hug us back. To spend an extra five minutes at bathtime having fun. To let them be messy in the kitchen. To laugh past bedtime in the garden. To remember what really matters, beyond all that s t u f f.’
Her honest and heart-warming post has attracted widespread praise in the 24 hours it’s been live.
‘Sending so much love back to all the Turks who have read this piece and found me on Instagram 💖💖💖💖 don’t know what half of you are saying but I love it anyway,’ she wrote in a follow up post a few hours later.’
‘Actually LOVE reading your post all so completely 100% ture. Keep it up,’ commended one commenter.
‘Beautifully put! From a mum who has experienced that deafening silence and those aching empty arms and all the stuff that becomes pointless and worthless without your baby with you I couldn’t have put it better!’, said another.
‘Loving your child is most important. And there is no measure to that. No one person comes out on top in love.’