Jeff Brazier has shared a sweet ‘gratitude’ video on his Instagram, where he’s revealed that he and his two sons had sat down together to watch footage of late mum Jade Goody, for the first time.
In the video, the likes of which Jeff has been posting nightly, he tells his 60,000 followers three things he’s grateful for.
‘Because of the pain and anguish people are suffering in Ladbroke Grove right now this is a very understated message of #Gratitude this evening,’ he captioned the video. ‘Even in the darkest of times there are always glimmers of light.’
He goes on to list the gratitude he feels for people helping other in the wake of the disaster, and his ‘inspiring’ clients, and then revealed that after his recent appearance on Loose Women, he realised how emotional watching old footage of Jade made him feel.
‘After speaking to the boys, we sat down and watched some footage of Jade as a family, we watched Jade, The Salon.’
‘They loved it, they absolutely loved it, and they can’t wait to watch the next one.
Jade’s illness and subsequent death in 2009 left her two sons, four and five at the time, to grieve with their father Jeff. Since then, he has largely managed to keep them out of the public eye, but recently appeared on Loose Women to discuss the hurdles he faced in helping them to process their mother’s death.
‘It was Jade’s birthday yesterday so we went out for something to eat. We’ll always celebrate the special occasions. They take the children back to the time when mum was still here,’ he explained.
Following a short montage of Jade’s life, Jeff appeared visibly upset, admitting that he’s normally able to speak about her, but that day was somehow ‘different’.
‘Seeing the videos and the pictures now, it’s just so desperately unfair – on her, and on the children,’ he told hosts Ruth Langsford, Coleen Nolan, Jane Moore and Saira Khan.
Commending Jeff on what a wonderful job he’s done on raising the two boys, Bobby Jack, now 14, and twelve-year-old Freddie, Ruth was keen to point out that Jade would have been ‘hugely proud’ of them and of him.
‘[Jade] did a really courageous job of telling them she had been sent for by God to a job for him, and that she was going to be a very bright star in the sky,’ Jeff replied. ‘That was what felt right for her at the time.’
He revealed that after she passed, he took the children out into the garden to look at the sky, and there was one, very bright star shining. ‘It made it easier [for me to tell them]. The star analogy was a continuation of what they believed to be true at the time.
‘That’s why they missed the funeral.’
Talking of how he coped with not only his own grief but also supported his sons, he added: ‘It was unclear of what my grief should be because I wasn’t her partner at the time.’
‘[The boys] have never seen me cry. I focus so much on the children’s grief, it’s all about the kids. You think, ‘how am i going to cope?’, I am coping. Over time I could have relaxed certain measures but I made my circle a lot smaller in terms of my social life, the things you think of as very expendable which would have been selfish of me to participate in when the children needed me, like my golf.’
He even admitted that he found playing ‘good cop/bad cop’ really tough, revealing that he’d been on the receiving end of some hurtful comments from the boys.
‘I haven’t heard it for a while, but sometimes they would say, ‘I wish that it was you that’s in heaven and not mummy’. It’s part of my job, but it takes you a while to assess it at first.’
After the TV appearance, Jeff took to Instagram again to post a candid video explaining that he was ‘grateful’ that he was able to show his feelings on live television and ‘absolutely knew it was going to happen.’
‘I’m going to go home now, watch some more footage, and make sure it all comes out,’ he concluded.