Mum Adele Barbaro has taken to Facebook to hit back at the repetitive ‘so when are you having a baby’ question that her and her husband are constantly fielding.
Fertility can be a hard-to-broach subject, but the candid Facebook post by the Melbourne based mum-of-two has clearly resonated with people, as it has garnered over 20k shares and over 3.5k comments to date.
Adele begins her rant by sharing a few of the answers she would give when asked about her plans for kids.
She would say that they were ‘enjoying being newly married’ or ‘traveling’, or ‘focusing on [her] career’ – but as she explains in her post, these answers weren’t the whole story…
‘These are just a few of the reasons I used (with a forced smile) to mask what was really going on,’ she admits.
‘I wasn’t always that pleasant. One day I responded with “it’s not that fucking easy, you know”. I had just got my period that morning…. again.’
She goes on to explain how her and her husband had been trying to get pregnant, but it had been difficult, commenting that neither of them are a ‘highly fertile 17 year old that could fall pregnant just by talking about it.’
Adele went on to reveal that she had been through IVF, admitting that it was a ‘time consuming, invasive, expensive and emotionally painful roller coaster.’
While her and her husband eventually went on to have a child, she is using their story to speak up for those who are still struggling.
Though she goes on in the post to explain that it’s not only people trying for children who could be hurt by the questions: ‘…what about the couple that doesn’t want kids?
‘Or the couple that had a child but can’t afford to have another? Or those that have lost little ones?
‘Even though we went through IVF and had such a struggle to have our Harvey, soon after we were asked… “so when are you having number two”? And now that I have two wonderful children and I feel our family is pretty complete, the question still comes…’
Adele ended the post with: ‘So, next time you go to say that ‘throw away’ comment to the newly weds or the couple that have been together for ten years, be sensitive.
‘Don’t ask them when they are having kids. You never know what’s going on.’
And she certainly wasn’t alone in feeling this, as the comments on her post prove: ‘I love this!! Thank you!! After being told at 17 I would never have kids – we just welcomed a little boy two weeks ago via surrogacy!’ said one follower.
‘I love this post! 3 kids and ivf ticked off and I still get THAT question! And it make boil with anger 😡like 3 kids isn’t enough,’ wrote another.
What do you think? Should people stop asking these questions or are they just innocent conversation starters? Let us know in the comments box below.