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If having a glass of wine at the end of the day is one of your favourite things, let us introduce you to your new favourite blogger.
Gill Simms, who pens the blog Peter and Jane, took to Facebook after a particularly hard day to explain why she was going to be swapped a cup of green tea for a general serving of vino, and the outcome was eye-wateringly funny.
She reeled off a list of stressful moments throughout her day, including a doctor’s appointment (scheduled because her child ‘refused to believe Mummy’s diagnosis of ‘There’s nothing wrong with you, next time don’t be so stupid’, making her look like a ‘neurotic tw*t), a long list of chores (‘washing, drying and putting away six loads of laundry; battling against the inexorable desire of the house to turn into a massive shitheap every time Mummy turns her back; going to Waitrose and not killing the children…’), the disappearance of her son (‘having not bothered to tell Mummy he was f*cking off’) and her husband’s ‘facetious remark about had Mummy had a nice, relaxing day sitting in the sunshine?’ (‘Tw*t’).
‘Mummy is actually drinking wine as a safety precaution, because at least if she is pissed and Daddy tries to make any more ‘witty’ remarks, she will probably miss when she tries to stab him, and so Mummy won’t spend the rest of her life in jail, and the children won’t end up in a SadFace article in the Daily Mail,’ she concluded.
Gill’s furious rant struck a chord with many, and since she uploaded it on 13th July it’s been shared more than 50,000 times.
‘This sounds way too familiar!’ one commented exclaimed, whilst another added, ‘This is hilarious! Mummy deserves that wine, and not a glass, but the whole bottle.’
A third remark read: ‘This is my life!! Love this woman lol. Not only did she do all that shit that day, she sat down and wrote this amazingly witty post!! Respect lady!!’
If you love Gill’s post as much as we do, you’ll be pleased to hear that it’s not an isolated incident – she regularly shares equally hilarious updates about life with her family and her relationship with… well, vino.
Gill, we feel your pain, but please don’t ever stop sharing it – thanks for making mums everywhere feel a little less alone!