While there are some childhood memories that everyone shares, no matter where they live – being bored for a lot of the school holidays, your mum being determined to ruin your teenage years and always feeding your broccoli to the dog – there are some things only children who grew up with Northern mums will understand.
Everyone says the North/South divide doesn’t exist, but we beg to differ. Growing up in the North of England our blood is practically turned to gravy and you know not to even think of asking ‘What’s for dinner?’ cause you’ll get the answer ‘Whatever you’re given’.
So whether you grew up north of Birmingham (or anywhere north of the M25 for that matter), here are all the things that you’ll only know if you were raised by a Northern ma:
1. You were made to call everyone ‘our’ even though you weren’t related to them
They just came and sat in your front room once a week.
2. And would often be told it’s like Blackpool illuminations when you left the lights on in your bedroom
Yeah, a waste of electricity.
3. Forget them ever putting the heating on
Don’t you know what a jumper is for?
4. The three meals you could expect were breakfast, lunch and tea
You’d get a clip round the ear if you mentioned ‘dinner’.
5. Knowing when you’d hear the phrase ‘born in a barn’
And hearing your mum shout you’re either in or you’re out!
6. Being made to polish the brasses when you’d been naughty
Who even knew you had brass in the house?!
7. Knowing that a family Sunday Roast isn’t just for Sunday
It makes the perfect mid-week dinner too.
8. Always being served a basket of bread and butter before tea
Eating it all before tea arrives (despite being told not to ruin your appetite) and having to force down dinner.
9. Being fed a Findus crispy pancake at least once
And knowing your mum didn’t feel guilty about the e-numbers.
10. Knowing that cold Yorkshire puddings with Sprayie cream or golden syrup is a legitimate dessert for everyone, not just kids
Yorkshire eclairs all round.
11. Having gravy with every meal
It just works. Okay?
12. Getting out the emergency chairs when relatives come round for tea
And you would still always end up sitting on the floor.
13. Not being allowed to wear your coat at grandma’s house
Even though she wouldn’t even turn the heating on in January.
14. Your mum making sure you know the difference between a barm and a teacake
Well, she doesn’t want you embarrassing her…
15. Being taught from an early age about the luxury of curry on chips
Southeners don’t know what they’re missing, and your mum knows it!
16. Being made to play outside whether it was sunny or raining
‘The fresh air is good for you!’
‘Yeeeees muuuuuum… ‘
17. Remembering how happy your mum would be when 50p went a long way in Cooplands
When did baked goods get so expensive?
18. Knowing that you’d only want to grow up with a Northern mum
We love our Northern mum. Now someone pass the gravy…