Does anyone else hate doing crafts but feel like they’ve failed as a parent if they don’t? Well, fail no more. Here are 9 legitimate reasons from our mummy blogger, Amy, why doing arts and crafts with your kids is a bad idea – and she’s got 9 photos of real-life monstrosities her kids have made to prove it!
1. Who even enjoys crafts?
You’re not the only one who hates crafts. Not even the things you make seem to enjoy it (rendering the activity completely and utterly pointless).
2. Crafts for you or for your child?
You will end up doing it on your own. Why? Because your kids are at school and nursery and you forgot they need a costume/hat/wig for tomorrow. Argghhh! (You’re also a bit of a control freak and know they won’t put the stuff in the right place. But that’s not the real reason, honestly.)
3. Things will get messy
Everything you make together makes you wonder if your child needs
psychological help. This basket was created for Easter. Yes, really.
It’s nicknamed the ‘Easter Basket Massacre’. Why do kids love red paint so
4. Crafting the unidentifiable
You’ll have to display their creations proudly for all to see. And explain over and over again that, ‘No. It’s NOT an ashtray,’ whilst wondering what on earth it actually is.
5. Even playing it safe leads to disaster
Glitter is nobody’s friend. So you decide to do something safe, like stickers. Only to discover that not only do ‘princesses love to wear diamond tiaras and necklaces,’ they also love to wear, erm, snot.
6. It will destroy your self-esteem
You get a priceless opportunity to learn how your child really sees you (whilst simultaneously tapping into all your insecurities.) She might have got the hair right, but does your nose really look like that?
7. Your child’s creativity has no boundaries
You’ve got 10 pots of paint but there’s that red colour again. Your child calls this picture, ‘Mummy.’ Presumably because red is such a calm colour, which mirrors your parenting style perfectly. Ahem.
8. No matter what you tell yourself, you do not look good in pasta
Sometimes you will have to wear your child’s creations. All day. Wherever you go. Whoever you see.
9. Your child will reveal all your secrets through craft!
In a bid to escape from the world of pipe cleaners, you let someone else do crafts with your kids. This is the biggest mistake of all. Because now you’re actually allowing someone else to share your child’s vision of you. While risking a visit from social services in the process.
In summary, it’s an awful idea to do crafts with your kids. If you don’t end up convinced they need therapy, you’ll certainly decide you do (if not a nose job as well).
Check out Amy’s hilarious blog at Surviving life and motherhood (just).