When you welcome a child, the last thing on your mind is the colour of their hair.
That is, until you spend 37 hours labouring to give birth to your gorgeous little human, wrap them up, bring them home, and are greeted with an array of comments to the tune of ‘oh, what a shame, they came out ginger.’
Hell hath no fury like a redhead mama scorned, but for some reason, people still feel the need to make remarks about ginger children at every stages of their lives. And although you know that their hair colour is a blessing, not a curse, you probably meet people on a daily basis who will happily tell you otherwise – whether they know you and your child, or not.
If you’re the mum of a ginger child, you should know that you’re not alone. Fearne Cotton, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Geri Halliwell all have gorgeous little gingers of their own.
And if you’re not blessed with a ginger baby, but know someone who is, here are 14 things you should probably avoid saying to them.
You know, unless you fancy a swift right hook.
1. Any of the following derogatory nicknames
Carrot top, ginger ninja, ginger whinger, ginger nut, copper nob, Chucky, matchstick, or FIRE CROTCH (seriously, people).
2. Anything to do with the milkman (postman, binman, whatever)
It comes from recessive family genes, not other members of the neighbourhood.
3. Anything to do with souls
^Is something we’re definitely not going to raise them to believe.
4. Or the biscuit tin
We’ve heard them all before, more times that we’d ever care to recall.
5. ‘Maybe they’ll grow out of it’
Of having beautiful auburn hair? Why would they want to?
6. ‘They’ll hate their hair when they’re older’
Only if people like you keep telling them to.
7. ‘What a shame they can’t wear red’
Wanna tell me that one again?
8. ‘Is it natural?’
No, I spend my evenings giving the three-year-old a Garnier Nutrisse top up.
9. ‘Someone’s going to have a temper’
Yes, me, when you make assumptions about my child based on a biological feature they have no control over.
10. ‘Did you know there’s an annual hug a ginger day?’
I HUG THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY.
11. ‘I hope you’ve got enough sun cream on them’
I can assure you they’ve been covered in factor 50 since birth, but thank you for your concern.
12. ‘It’s worse for a boy to be ginger’
Have you seen Damien Lewis?
13. ‘Did you know they’re going extinct?’
Just what every parent wants, a reminder of their child’s impending survival challenges.
14. ‘Can I touch their hair?’
They’re a person, not a unicorn. Let’s end the madness here.