Only children are a weird and wonderful breed. You’re the eldest, the youngest and the middle child all combined in one, and definitely suffer more with stereotypes than all of them put together.
Only children have have a bad rep too. People may say you’re spoiled, self-involved and socially awkward, but that’s only because they’re obviously jealous of all the love, attention and presents you got from your parents.
Here are 25 things you’ll only understand if you’ve had the blessing of growing up as an only child…
1. There are only two possible reactions to ‘I’m an only child’
The subtle ‘Oh that explains a lot’ or the ‘Really? You don’t seem like an only child’. You’ve heard it both ways.
2. People usually think you’re a weirdo
Telling people you’re an only child is almost equivalent to saying you’re in a cult.
3. You had to spend a lot of time playing by yourself
But mostly with your pet. Either way, you’re pretty much a master of self entertainment.
4. But that’s also the reason you have an awesome imagination
You could give J.K. Rowling a run for her money.
5. Your friends were the closest thing you had to siblings
Apart from your childhood imaginary friends, who were actually your siblings, your friends are the closest you have to brothers and sisters, so they can’t really get rid of you. Ever.
6. You’re ridiculously unexperienced in fights like this
The lack of brotherly tough love or sisterly scrapping left you slightly unprepared for the real world.
7. So you usually avoid it at all costs
Being confrontational doesn’t come as natural when your entire childhood discussions were between you and your mum about brussel sprouts consumption. The fact that she always won only makes it worse.
8. You had your fair share of dull adult events
There were no older siblings to stay home with you, and no younger ones to keep you company while you were there, so you had no choice but to spend time with the grown-ups.
9. So you were always told you’re very mature for your age
Spending a lot of time with adults does that to a child.
10. You never had to fight for your parents’ attention
The only thing you were missing was a crown to wear around the house. Oh, wait…
11. Spending so much time by yourself taught you the importance of alone time
You’re perfectly fine with being by yourself and you actually need regular me-time to keep sane.
12. Deep down you’re secretly gutted you won’t ever have your own nieces and nephews
Who will you spoil before you have your own kids?
13. You’re closer to your parents because, well, there was no one else in the house
BFFs for life.
14. But they also freaked out a lot easier if you didn’t pick up the phone
One missed call and your dad began morphing into Liam Neeson.
15. The presents were usually pretty great
Having only one kid obviously dramatically increases your budget. It’s not about being spoilt, it’s simple maths.
16. And they still are
Only children never grow up in their parents’ eyes. They’re basically little Peter Pans.
17. Cohabiting with other people was very awkward at first
You never had to share a bathroom before, and suddenly you have five toothbrushes in the same cup. And they’re all the same colour.
18. You never had to compete to speak during dinner
It was like having your own late night talk show.
19. But there was also a lot more pressure to make your parents proud
All your parents’ hopes and dreams lie only on you. There will be no one else’s first steps, graduation, wedding etc, so you better get it right the first time.
20. You had no one to guide you along the way
So many avoidable mistakes…
21. And no one to pass your wisdom on to
All those GameBoy tricks gone to waste.
22. You really don’t remember your childhood that accurately…
No one else can verify your childhood stories so things can get a bit dubious. ‘I’m pretty sure I got a unicorn for my tenth birthday… ‘
23. You had no else to blame if you messed up
But you still blamed your dog for eating all the chocolate.
24. You secretly wonder if your brother or sister would have been as awesome as you
It’d be the same DNA combination so they couldn’t have been that bad…
25. But at the end of the day, you know your parents made you an only child on purpose because they knew they couldn’t make a better human