New year, new me – the mantra of millions during the first few weeks of January. If you’re a parent, however, dieting can bring a plethora of new problems that you may not have considered.
1. The kids will always want the food that you have
It doesn’t matter if they have a pizza and a full bar of Dairy Milk* each, they will still eye your cucumber sticks and rice cakes jealously, demand half and abandon their own food, while you glare at the untouched chocolate resentfully. Of course, if you give them cucumber sticks to begin with they react as though you have presented them with gruel.
2. Mums’ groups become the ultimate test of endurance and willpower
After the first hour of dozens of toddlers screaming simultaneously, those chocolate biscuits start to speak to you…
3. They’re always on board with helpful motivational advice
Like ‘Mummy, why is your tummy so very, very big and squashy?’ and ‘It’s funny when that bit wobbles!?’
4. They ask for snacks approximately 67 times an hour
You think about snacks for approximately the same amount of time. Overall you spend 90 percent of your day thinking about snacks or negotiating with snack terrorists.
5. There’s always coffee
Black coffee with no sugar is only two calories and fat free. This means you can drink approximately 400 cups a day.
6. Leftovers are your nemesis
Oh, sweet leftovers. Crusts from sandwiches, discarded spaghetti hoops, slightly dribbled on chocolate buttons… how I love… and HATE you!
7. The hanger
The kids get really grumpy at around 4pm because lunch was ages ago and it’s too close to tea for another snack… and so do you. Dieting mums know the true meaning of the word hangry.
8. Dieting on less than five hours of sleep is officially impossible
10. Temptation is everywhere
Those fake shaving foam custard pies on Justin’s House are beginning to look really tasty right about now… *Of course, my children have junk food very rarely, on special occasions. Like Thursdays.
Danielle was selected as a BISS guest blogger after entering our October linky. For your chance to write for GoodtoKnow, check out our Because I Said So platform.