Nikki Pennington, a woman who's been blogging about grief since she lost her mum nearly seven years ago, is being praised for sharing a truly heartbreaking story.
In the post shared on her page, Grief to Hope, Nikki starts by explaining that she’s always suffered from anxiety, and that her mum was ‘her person’ – the one who could calm her down when she was feeling too overwhelmed to function.
She wrote, alongside a picture of her mum: ‘If you have anxiety then you know you have that one person. The one person that knows just how to help calm you down in the midst of the anxiety fog. That one person for me was my Mom.’
Nikki goes on to say that her mum knew exactly what to day and when to say it, in order to bring her ‘back to reality’.
‘I always just assumed she would always be there to be my person but that all changed’, she continued, before explaining how she started talking to her husband more and more when she was anxious, instead of calling her mum.
‘It was a few weeks after my husband and I were married and my anxiety kicked in, I said, “I have to call my Mom” he paused and said, “How about you talk to me instead? Just give me a try and see if I can compare.”
‘So I did, I gave him a chance to help ease my anxiety and it was as if I was talking to my Mom, it was as if I was talking to my person.’
The blogger then explains that the calls to her mum about her anxiety became less frequent, and she never asked her why.
‘The day my Mom died I called my husband. I said, “My person is gone. The one that knew me and loved me with all my flaws. The one, the only one who could calm my fears, she’s gone.”’, she wrote.
It was then that her husband let her in the secret he shared with Nikki’s mum. She had given him a note on their wedding day, explaining ‘How to be Nikki’s person’.
‘Then he began to tell me a story about my Mom. A story that I never knew about her before because she didn’t want me to know.
‘You see on our wedding day, my Mom gave my husband a note. A note that was just for the two of them. A note with the title that said, “How to be Nikki’s person”.
‘It was a step by step guide on what she would say and do for me when my anxiety was taking over.
Step 1: Just listen
Step 2: Listen a little more
Step 3: Don’t try and solve the problem
Step 4: Tell her you understand
Step 5: Keep listening until she’s sorted it out on her own. She will, she always does
‘She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s had it figured out on her own all along.’
Reflecting on what her mum had done for her, Nikki said: ‘My Mom gave up being my person not because she wanted to but because she wanted my husband to know how to be when she was no longer here. She gave up being my person so that she could make sure I would always have one no matter what. Well Mom, you will still forever be my person.’
Many of Nikki’s followers were left with tears in their eyes after reading the post, which has had over 200 reactions.
One wrote: ‘I just teared up. You are one lucky person to have had such an amazing mother. My mom is my person too and I can’t imagine the loss you feel. So beautiful.’
Another said: ‘Actual tears running down my cheeks as I read this. So incredibly moving. I also lost my person, not for help as I don’t have anxiety but just my person in life.’
A third also commented: ‘Oh, this is so beautiful. What a thoughtful, compassionate thing to do.’
Mums do know better. ❤️