DDIY (Don’t Do It Yourself!)

Recently, some top psychologists suggested that too much DIY can actually make us unhappy. Programmes such as DIY SOS and 60 Minute Makeover make us feel that our houses are not as nice as they should be.

Now, I’ve always loved interior decorating and DIY (woodwork was one of my best subjects at school!) and I’ve even appeared on one of those home makeover shows. But time has taught me nothing of the pain and stupidity of doing it yourself – until this weekend, when, halfway through painting my bathroom door gold, I realised that there are some key things to remember:

1. Your arms will hurt, whatever you do and for however long, they will ache for days afterwards.
2. You will, just like all professional painters and decorators, need a strong tea with 4 sugars every half hour.
3. Just because your local DIY store has a special offer on bowls filled with gold baubles – in the middle of summer – it doesn’t mean you have to buy them.
4. You will always find splodges of paint on parts of your body that you didn’t even know existed, weeks later.
5. Sometimes, it doesn’t do what it says on the tin – are you listening Mr One Coat paint?
6. The decorating will always, always take twice as long as you’d planned.
7. No matter how many times you warn people that the wall is wet with paint, someone will just have to lean against it and ruin your work!