Sexplanations: ‘He’s sore after sex’

Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

I have a new man. We’re in love and have great sex. But afterwards, he complains that his penis is sore. I’m 43, have never had kids and am in good shape, so what could be wrong?

The solution

Some men get skin irritations from an adverse reaction to cosmetics, perfumes or even detergents used to wash bed linen. But these allergies would affect the whole body, not just the genitals. Don’t worry, I’ve never heard of a guy getting a sore penis because he’s allergic to a woman’s secretions.

What is far more likely is that your vagina gives your man a much tighter fit during intercourse than he’s used to.

You’re at the age where natural juices flow less freely. It affects us all. So it’s no disgrace to need an artificial lubricant. We can keep fit, eat healthily and exercise loads but nature still catches up with us!

Kathryn Hoyle, who runs the sex shop for women called Sh!, says that lesbians buy lube by the bucketful! Apparently, because they go in for more stroking and rubbing than the average hetero couple, they know these activities feel more comfortable when they use a lubricant. So, stock up on brands such as Liquid Silk, Pjur Eros or Eden Bliss Silicone.

If things continue to be a problem even after using a lubricant, you may need to see a doctor about your hormones. But I’m as sure as I can be that a good lube will sort you out.

Read more sex advice from Christine Webber

– There’s more advice in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.

– Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on or to us on goodtoknow