Sexplanations: ‘I fancy my brother-in-law’

Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

I’ve got a crush on my brother-in-law. We met for the first time at a family BBQ – he works abroad and is rarely around. I adore my husband and so do my kids from my previous marriage, but his brother keeps coming on to me. Even though he’s a womaniser, I still want him.

The advice

There’s a saying: ‘You can’t help your feelings, but you can help what you do about them.’ Please take this on board. Clearly, you lust after your brother-in-law. But are you really going to trade a one-night stand – fantastic or otherwise – for a probable lifetime of regret? You’d be one more notch on this Lothario’s bedpost. That’s all.

But you could lose everything. Your husband would probably never forgive you for sleeping with his brother – and I’d say the chances of you keeping it a secret are almost nil.

Furthermore, you’d endanger the security your kids have found in their new family. They’ve already been uprooted from your first marriage, so you’d be crazy to put them through another break-up and divorce.

It sounds as though your brother-in-law is a rougher, edgier person than your husband. So maybe it might help if you could unleash a more passionate side to your man. Try fantasising with him that you’re a sexy stranger and that he’s so overcome with lust for you that he takes you quickly and forcefully. I’m not suggesting that he forsakes his usual considerate ways every time. But by experimenting with fantasies, the two of you could vary your sex menu, which should be very exciting.

Meanwhile, keep away from your unprincipled brother-in-law. He’ll be off again soon, and it’s best you put this dangerous crush aside and forget him – because, believe me, he has every intention of forgetting you. Get real!

There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.
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Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on or to us at goodtoknow