Sexplanations: ‘I have lesbian fantasies’

Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

My husband and I watch porn together every now and again. Recently, we watched a DVD featuring two girls together, and it really turned me on. We had great sex afterwards, but now I’m worried. Am I gay? I thought gay women were quite masculine.

The advice

Few gay women these days actually have cropped hair and dress in dungarees, you know! Plenty of them look more feminine than heterosexual females. But I don’t for a moment believe that you’re gay. I just think that sexuality is a complex thing. Many experts believe we’re all bisexual to some extent.
I’m not sure I agree with that myself. But I know that loads of us can get aroused by the idea of sex between two women, even if we’d never want to do it in real life.

I can’t say you’ll never want to try having sex with another woman, but I doubt it. It’s more likely that fantasising about lesbian sex will become part of your menu of love. It’s common for women to imagine themselves watching two other women, or pretend that they’re making love to another female.

It’s quite a convenient fantasy to have – because ‘girl on girl’ sex is a major turn-on for most men, too! Loads of couples make believe another woman has joined them in bed. As they have sex, they imagine the other girl is caressing or kissing the female partner. I think that what happened to you the other night was entirely normal. So stop worrying. And enjoy!

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