Sexplanations: ‘I need to liven up my sex life’

Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

I love my husband, we’ve been happily married for 15 years and have a daughter. But sex has become dull. We know each other’s bodies so well and usually make love in the same position because it works. How can we liven things up? I’m worried I might have an affair, just for variety.

The solution

This could be a dangerous time in your marriage if you’re contemplating cheating. But an affair could cost you everything. Better to work out ways to get out of this dull routine.

For a start, have sex when your daughter is out, rather than in a few snatched moments before you fall asleep. Plan a break away. I once conducted a survey about women and sex and discovered that 96 per cent of females feel sexier once they’re away on holiday. Maybe your daughter could stay with relatives so you could go for long weekend. Hopefully, while you’re away, you can kick-start a hotter sex life.

Visit sex websites that are run by women for women. They sell all sorts of goodies that will spice up your love life. Passion 8 is a good one and so is Sh!

Buy some DVDs or erotic books – they should really get your sensuous taste buds tingling. Look at the sex toys. You don’t have to opt for a lurid pink, penile-shaped vibrator.
There’s something for everyone. Get some luscious lubrication that will glide over your naughty bits. It’s amazing how sexy that can make you feel.

What about a spot of play-acting? Try recreating some special nights in your life. Pretend you’re in bed with your husband for the first time. Or recall your honeymoon, the details of the hotel room, and what you could smell as you lay together. Tell each other what impressed you that night – and what you were nervous about. You have a happy life, you just need to shake it up a bit. Your marriage is worth it. Good luck.

Read more sex advice from Christine

There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.
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