Sexplanations: ‘I was told that masturbation is wrong’

Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

I left my husband six months ago. He was violent and controlling, but I do miss the sex and feel very frustrated. My mum taught me that it’s dirty to pleasure yourself, but I miss having orgasms. I feel like picking up a bloke in a pub, but know that could be risky.

The solution

The world would be a happier place if some mothers thought before speaking and giving their kids a lifelong complex. Masturbation is healthy and normal. In fact, there are many health benefits to orgasms. Scientists have found that having climaxes helps people to feel happier and healthier. And many of my depressed patients have told me that they have felt less miserable by having orgasms. Also, there’s no doubt that sexual relief helps us to get to sleep better than any sleeping pill.

Another advantage when you masturbate is that you can focus on your own pleasure, and there’s no danger of infection or unwanted pregnancy. You can also have great fantasies because there’s no one there to distract you! So, forget your mum’s outmoded teaching and enjoy pleasuring yourself!

I suggest you buy a couple of vibrators and use them every now and again. Perhaps you can buy some erotic books and read them while you toy with yourself? I hope you meet a new sexual partner who’s also a decent and kind man, but in the meantime, resist leaping on a stranger in a pub. Instead, enjoy a sensual experience on your own. It will eliminate all of your frustrations.

Read more sex advice from Christine Webber

– There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.

– Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on or to us on goodtoknow

Where to next?

Sex toys: Tried and Tested
Orgasms: Everything you want to know
Quiz: Are you too choosy in love?