Sexplanations: My sex life’s just so boring now

Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

When my husband and I first got together we were always having sex and were very adventurous. But now, with children aged 13 and nine, and a full-time job, sometimes I avoid sex because I’m tired. I wish our love life were as exciting as it used to be. Please help.

The solution

Women today are extremely busy. So it’s no wonder sex gets put on the backburner sometimes – especially when it’s no longer a novelty! But you can sort this. Here’s how.

First, you need to get more sleep. Tiredness is the biggest sex problem for women – when we’re exhausted, we don’t feel sexy.

So, work out how you can alter your schedule to get more shuteye. Maybe it means having an early night sometimes. Or you might decide to shift your supermarket shop to a weekday evening to free up your weekend. Or maybe you could ask a relative or friend to have the kids for a sleepover.

Next, you need to inject some real variety and fun into your love life. No matter how much we love our partners, boredom can creep in unless we take stock every now and again and start doing some exciting new things.

You and your man should go sex shopping online for erotic books, DVDs, lingerie and sex toys. This should give you both a bit of a thrill – in fact just having a look at the websites might encourage some spontaneous lust!

Try Emotional Bliss, Passion 8 or The Lovers’ Guide. With luck you’ll find something you both like, plus some hot hints and tips that will generate real excitement again for both of you. Give it a go!

Finally, I recommend a lovely manual called The New Joy Of Sex by Susan Quilliam. It’s a new version of the old classic and it’s packed with gorgeous pictures and very classy advice. In fact, I’d say it’s the perfect book to tempt you into having an early night!

Read more sex advice from Christine Webber

– There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.

– Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on or to us on goodtoknow