Sexplanations: ‘We can’t find time for sex’

Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

The problem

My husband’ s a real morning person – he’s at his sexiest then. He wakes up with an erection! But I’m not in the mood then, I just want to get to work on time. I feel more like it at night but my hubby falls asleep in front of the TV, so there’s not much action then! What can we do?

The solution

I understand your husband is livelier in the mornings than at night, but I must tell you that most men sometimes wake up with erections. The main reason is that they have full bladders after a night’s sleep.

If every guy with a morning erection demanded sex before getting up, most of the nation would be late for work!

Compromise is needed. I read that Dame Helen Mirren used to set her alarm clock to go off early so that she could have sex with her husband before setting off on a day’s filming. That’s real dedication to a marriage!

OK, you’re not at your best in the mornings. But perhaps you could offer your husband ‘a quickie’ first thing, maybe a couple of times a week. Make it clear that you don’t want any stimulation or love play yourself, but that you’re just happy he ‘has you’. That should send him off to work with a smile on his face!

But what about you? Why not have some early evening sessions? Encourage your guy to come to bed once a week, before you have supper and watch TV. That could be your special time, and he should feel less exhausted.

Also, make the most of weekends. Maybe you could take to your bed on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon? That way, you won’t be tired or in a hurry, and can enjoy your time together. Think laterally!

Read more sex advice from Christine Webber

– There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.

– Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on or to us on goodtoknow