Two wedding photographers have taken to Reddit to reveal the biggest giveaways they believe show that a marriage won’t work.
Despite marriage rates slowly declining over the years, half of us Brits still choose to say ‘I do’. But after the nuptials, and the excitement of the day, there are plenty of unions that just don’t work out.
There are hundreds of reasons for the break down of a relationship, but these photographers thinks there are some stand-out tell tale signs from the get-go.
Reddit user ModernDayCinderella was asked ‘what happened at a wedding that let you know the marriage was going to end in divorce?’ while Reddit user SuccessiveApprox gave their professional opinion on a thread asking how you can tell if a couple is going to last.
Here are the main signs they think show that a marriage is doomed to fail…
Signs a marriage will fail: The way you to talk about the wedding
The way a couple talks about their wedding before it’s happened can be a big sign to foretelling the longevity of the marriage. According to Reddit user and wedding photographer SuccessiveApprox, chatting to a couple and listening to the language they use gives a big sign as to whether they are more excited about the wedding or the marriage itself.
They say, ‘It becomes pretty clear in a short time what the focus is. Many couples, particularly young couples, pretty clearly have in mind a wedding but have put little thought and planning into a marriage’.
Signs a marriage will fail: The families’ approval
Apparently noticing if the families of both the bride and groom have confidence or are happy about the pairing is a sure sign of whether the marriage itself will last.
Reddit photographer SuccessiveApprox says you can tell a lot from the way the families react on the wedding day to whether they think the couple will make it.
‘The differences we see in the families’ and friends’ behaviour at a wedding – the bridesmaids talking, the groomsmen interacting, the parents’ glances and body language, the toasts – all are very telling about how much they think this is a good idea and how much community support there is around a couple.’
Signs a marriage will fail: Not showing any affection
Being affectionate may sound like a pretty basic thing, plus not everyone is a fan of PDA but for a photographer this is a subtle hint to how the marriage will last.
SuccessiveApprox points out that when having wedding photos taken it’s easy to see which couples are comfortable being affectionate to each other and which ones aren’t.
‘I had my friend whose been a wedding photographer for ten years with me to show me the ropes after doing a lot of second shooting with him. So he poses a kissing shot of the couple, and when he asks them to kiss the bride goes ‘oh, no, no thank you’ in this weird little mousey voice. The whole thing was weird. The groom didn’t even bother to properly make himself look presentable on his wedding day, it was literally the first time both sides of the family met that day.’
Signs a marriage will fail: The cake
You might think it’s a simple combination of butter, flour, eggs and sugar and a good old fashioned wedding tradition but apparently the cake holds much more significance than we might have thought.
ModernDayCinderella says that despite the day being a happy occasion, things can go wrong when ‘respect’ is played with.
She says, ‘during the cake cutting, most brides will say don’t smash the cake in their face (or vice versa). If the other person does it anyway, that’s a huge tell for respect.
‘I know it’s all fun and games, but it’s a big tell to overall feelings.’
Signs a marriage will fail: The stress
You might think a couple would be on cloud nine come their big day, but the Reddit photographer says she’s seen plenty of upsets and arguments due to the stress of arranging such a big event.
‘Fighting at the wedding about petty things. I’ve seen a lot of this. I know weddings are stressful, but you should be able to work through petty small things easily and move on.
‘Almost all of my couples will hold grudges for at least the rest of the night, which in turn, ruins their images.
‘I have to be the one that tells them, ‘look, I know you’re p****d at each other right now, but for the sake of your lifetime memories, fake that you like each other for the rest of the night.’
Signs a marriage will fail: Taking control
Despite people often joking about ‘Bridezillas’ ModernDayCinderella says this can actually be a sign that the marriage is over before it’s begun – and she says men can be them too.
‘If you’re a Bride / Groomzilla then that’s a tell, too. All of my monsters have been absolute control freaks and refuse to let people help them, but then get p****d that nobody helps them.
‘This tells me a lot about your personality and a lot of can be seen in your interaction with your significant other.’
Others reveal signs they knew marriages would fail
ModernDaryCinderella’s revelations prompted a whole host of responses from others who claim that they’d be able to spot the moment they knew the marriage they were witnessing wouldn’t last.
Reddit user Freckle_juice_mama revealed how interaction with the in-law is a good way of spotting any problems, saying at one wedding she went to, ‘They spent $50k on a Disney wedding and the bride spent zero time anywhere near the in-laws for several hours. She ran off a week later.’
‘This was over 10 years ago. The awful part is that the guy was/is such a wonderful person. He just attracts crazy.’
Another follower of the thread, c0de76said one wedding stood out to her: ‘During the ceremony when the priest started asking the bride ‘Do you take this man to be your…’, she started laughing uncontrollably and couldn’t stop.
‘It was cute for about 10 seconds and then things got real uncomfortable. They lasted a year and change. We all kinda knew the only reason they were getting married was because she got pregnant.’
Vogelarcher15 said they thought it was all in the vows, citing on particular occasion.
‘At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mum is in tears, because ‘he looks miserable’ and he was, we all knew it.
‘During the vows they had written for each other, the bride starts with ‘I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around, but that’s all going to change starting today!’
‘They were divorced a year later.’
What do you think of the ‘signs’? Too true or a load of rubbish? Let us know in the comments below!