Now it might just be us becoming old scrooges, but we are so over Black Friday. We’ve given it a decent run, letting apocalyptic scenes unfold at checkouts from Dundee to Devon, but now we really are COMPLETELY over it.
It’s bad enough that Christmas gets earlier every year, but Black Friday brings together the worst parts of the festive season – the greed and the huge quantities of cash we feel compelled to spend on our loved ones.
Not to mention the pushing and shoving – we get enough of that from our father-in-law trying to carve the cold meats on Boxing Day thanks very much.
And we aren’t the only ones. A study showed that 82% of shoppers were so put off by the mayhem of last year’s Black Friday that they won’t consider shopping in-store on the day again.
Here are 16 reasons why we really wish Black Friday would swim back across the Atlantic once and for all.
1. The mounting pressure to take part that creeps up on you as the day gets closer
And oh look you’ve just been handed the kids’ eight-page Christmas list. Father Christmas better be feeling flush this year…
2. Your inbox is inundated with Black Friday emails in the weeks before
Don’t these people know you’re trying to take the moral highground?
3. You fool yourself into thinking that you’ll just have a civilised browse on your computer instead
Spending 20 minutes waiting for every page to load and realising you could have filled a whole trolley by now…
4. You need to start scouting for camping locations in the ASDA car park ASAP
Now where did we put those sleeping bags?
5. It brings out the worst traits in everyone around you
Usually perfectly civilised people are willing to have an arm wrestle with a stranger to get 30% off a sourdough bread maker.
6. Your smug sister-in-law always buys her children’s entire Christmas list purchased for 20% off what you will pay in two weeks time
HOW does she find time to be so organised?
7. There’s an entire website dedicated to the number of injuries occurring on Black Friday
That just doesn’t sound right.
8. Forgetting Black Friday exists and accidentally stumbling into NEXT on a ‘quiet’ Friday afternoon to do some browsing
Oh hell no.
9. The kids can get lost beneath a sea of cut-price Kenwood mixers
Whilst you’re lost down there, make yourself useful and grab a couple of Playstation controllers?
10. It encourages you to buy things you absolutely do not need
Mini home foot spa? That definitely won’t end up at a car boot sale.
11. You end up wishing you could actually buy something useful – like eight hours sleep
Now that we could ABSOLUTELY get on board with.
12. Even once you’ve been through Hunger Games-style warfare to secure your items, you still have to queue to pay…
You have got to be kidding me.
13. Then once you’re home you have to hide whatever you have bought
Either from your husband because he’s angry or your children because they want to ruin Christmas for themselves.
14. Black Friday isn’t even British
Don’t we have enough American exports to deal with? Well at least they temporarily took Piers Morgan off our hands… thanks guys.
15. It makes us forget why we ever enjoyed shopping
And that’s just an incredibly sad state of affairs.
16. And Black Friday isn’t the last of it, we’ve still got Cyber Monday to come
Oh, and don’t forget the January sales…